You Sir, Are a Lying Sack of Twit

Today I came across a blog post entitled “You Sir, Are a Lying Sack of Twit.”

A couple of things about that – first off, that title was the signature of a particular Warrior in the Warrior Forum. For some reason it hadn’t really occurred to me to link to my blog posts before from my forum signature, but now that I think of it, I think it’s a great idea, especially if the post provides great content or a unique perspective.

So thanks Paul, for that idea.

More to the point, the post is all about email marketers that lie in order to get attention, get sales, or get something else. Often it’s all of the above.

So I read Paul’s post this afternoon, and then I came back to my computer to see an email sitting in my inbox with a subject “Jason Katzenback is in the hospital” it was from Comment Kahuna. I don’t mind naming names, because hopefully it will help clean up this mess Paul’s talking about.

Now as soon as you see a headline like that, sure, your curiosity is aroused. I figured he was probably going to ask for donations or something. A similar event happened on the Warrior forum a month or two ago.

Instead, I opened it up and read this:

“Ok. Don’t panic.

JK is *not* in the hospital.

But, I know how crammed your inbox is with emails and I *desperately* needed to grab your attention.

Here’s what this email is *really* about…

As you might already know, perhaps the BIGGEST contest ever is about to happen here at…”

Ever heard the story of the little boy who cried wolf. You just read the email equivalent.

So I wrote back and asked him if he’d ever considered how he was framing his customers with that sort of a bait and switch tactic. Framing your customer is a technique where you try to put them into a buying frame of mind. Many people screw this up routinely by making ads (you know you’ve seen these…) saying “Product X SUCKS!!!! Find out why” then you click on the ad and they’re trying to sell you Product X.

Well congratulations, you’ll probably get a few sales, but only because you’ve got volume on your side. The conversion rate will suck.

The problem is that you’ve setup the customer with one frame of mind, then you’ve pulled an about face on them. Typically people don’t adjust well to that.

How much worse is it when you’re expecting a plea for help and instead you’re told that some marketer “desperately” needs you to sign up for his big thingamajigger. Like who cares?

I mean, think of how the word desperately is supposed to be used.

Dying man in desert desperately needs a drink.

Broke father desperately needs a job.

Devastated lover desperately tries to make things right.

Desperate, according to dictionary.com is the following “reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency”, “making a final, ultimate effort, giving all”, “accentuated by a feeling of hopelessness”, “having no hope, giving in to despair.”

I can’t think of a single one of those that applies to getting people to sign up for a contest. *Especially* when *desperately* is *accentuated* by these *little* **** things. I mean, that’s like *screaming* desperately. Like the boogie man is in the room with me here, and he’s going to kill a kitten live on YouTube if you don’t sign up for my contest.

To me, this guy just lost all credibility. I could care less about his contest that he desperately needs to build his list so he can make another few grand.

Give me a break. And yes, I unsubscribed.

One Response to You Sir, Are a Lying Sack of Twit
  1. Loretta
    February 12, 2009 | 11:47 am

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one that was disgusted by that email. It was just totally repulsive to read. I can only imagine that their list numbers dropped dramatically overnight.

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